I totally realize that this is a little late..but as of late it seems life is getting the better of me...I have always been referred to as the strong one..the one who could handle anything..but at this point in my life...I think i should be referred to the weak one who could cry if anyone chose to listen.....I am Kimberly...Kim of course for short...I am married to a wonderful man...I have to amazing kiddo's...Caden...who's 7 (almost 8) going on 17 and Keagen, 4 who is going on 34. My children are very wise beyond their years and to be honest it has to come from their raising and life experiences....I didn't want to make this whole blog about their disabilities..but very few get exactly what my husband and I live through and there had been some comments made...so I thought instead of explaining my life individually..i would blog about it and they can read...or not read..but cant say i didn't try to inform them.....
Caden...Caden was born in to a very turmoil filled time...Jeremy and I were newly weds...happy..but still learning...there were family difficulties...which I chose to not mention for the pure fact of not wanting to face the backlash of airing all our dirty laundry on the Internet...ideally with Caden i had the perfect pregnancy until we hit a big speed bump of drama and utter bullshit...stress started rising and so did my blood pressure...Caden was born at 34 weeks gestation...with immature lungs and was rushed away from me with out so much as a kiss...to this day..I feel guilty for his prematurity..i feel like possibly if i had been more mature and could have not let the world get to me..he would be much better off....but thats my guilt..and I carry it...nuf said!!! He as a result of prematurity..had a very weakened immune system and was sick a lot the first 5 years...he was soo terribly prone to catch any bad bug floating around..and did....At about 3 we noticed that he was a tad strange..he talked in a funny tone..was very matter of fact and had what everyone seemed to point out was a delay in speech....So we tested him and got nothing....In kindergarten we started noticing some behavior issues in school and took him to the psychiatrist..only to be thrown under the ADHD bus...after several failures of medication...i researched and got him diagnosed with Aspergers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome. Jeremy and I have learned somewhat on how to better handle his behaviors..and have come to realize that he is who he is...and there is no point in trying to change the things that make him special.....We is our barrel of laughs..full of funny things and the sweetest soul I have ever encountered....
On to Mr. Keagen...lord Keagen....Keagen had problems starting at my 17 week ultrasound..they noticed short limbs in the legs and arms and suggested a high risk ob and dwarfism...which I think devestated Jeremy more than I...Jeremy is very what is the word I am looking for......simple..and thought that having kids was very cut and dry and the mention of dwarfism and the possibility of something wrong made him want to run I think...he will probably read this and say no he didn't..but i swear he wanted to run as far away as he could...thus this caused tons of problems with us...I spent countless hours crying that no one wanted my baby but me and that I had made a huge mistake by even loving or wanting him..which i knew was absurd but at the time it was how i felt...Keagen was born...very smoothly i would say...aside from being really low..and breach...the doctor did manage to break his leg..which was expected I think...and we dealt with that..but it also caused him to be shipped away too....I was heartbroken...The next few months were spent with the worlds most miserable baby..he cried and carried on all day and night...had colic and probably more broken bones than I care to think about..but over came and is a ball of electric energy..the kid defies space and gravity i tell ya...he is sooo personable...and just all around eccentric....
I honestly dont know how we survive....but we do...this is just a peek into our life..I will update more as things progress...because I could write a book right now..but really dont want to scare anyone off...LOL....
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Oh my goodness! It is possible to be strong and to cry! I have only known a lil of your story along the way but you are strong to keep going with a smile on your face and love in your heart after all your family deals with!
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