Such a lonely day.....and it's mine...the most loneliest day of my life.....

SO I have been in what I call a shit rut for days now...hating my circumstance...hating the fact that 15 year old babies can have normal babies...and I did nothing wrong and screwed with both of mine....I always worked sooo hard a painting a smile..that I think it's caught up to me and now i am pissed at the whole fucking WORLD.....I dont like pity...actually I despise it...but when it's my own pity....i kinda feel alright about it...So many times I have heard...oh honey...I know what your going through....UHH no you fucking dont....do you live in my house 24/7 NO...NO you dont...so dont say you know....I have met the most amazing people in my OI journey...some that even help with Caden's Asperger's. These women are my lifeline..they are the only women i can connect to besides my fabo sisters..they get it...they dont always understand...but they get it...and that helps...But sometimes I wonder..what I did to piss off the world....Here I am sitting on my hands waiting for back pay from SSI and my lawyer gets paid first...now who made that rule I wonder??? IDK...IDK..I promise this whole blog wont be downer shit like this..but for this day...it's what you get.......